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Zitate von Douglas Noël Adams
(11.März 1952 - 11.Mai 2001) war ein britischer Schriftsteller

Per Anhalter durch die Galaxis

(The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy)

Arthur Dent

Erdenbewohner, der erst sein Haus, dann seinen Heimatplaneten und irgendwann später seinen Verstand verlor

  • "Das ist natürlich eine ziemlich merkwürdige Auffassung von Sicherheit, der bin ich bis jetzt noch nie begegnet"
» "Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of."
  • "Ford, du verwandelst dich in einen Pinguin. Lass das bitte"
» "Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
  • "Heute muss Donnerstag sein, mit Donnerstagen kam ich noch nie zu Rande"
» "This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

Dialoge

  • Arthur: "In Augenblicken wie jetzt, wo ich mit einem Mann von Beteigeuze in einer vogonischen Druckschleuse gefangen sitze und jeden Moment tief im Weltraum an Erstickung sterben muss, da wünsche ich mir wirklich, ich hätte auf meine Mutter gehört, als ich noch klein war"
    Ford: "Wieso, was hat sie dir denn gesagt?"
    Arthur: "Ich weiß es nicht, ich habe nicht zugehört"
» "It's at moments like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die from asphyxiation in deep space, that I wish I had listened to what my mother told me when I was young." (Ford Prefect) "Why, what did she say?" (Arthur Dent) "I don't know, I didn't listen!"

Ford Prefect

Interstellarer Anhalter. War 15 Jahre auf der Erde gestrandet

  • "Zeit ist eine Illusion, Mittagszeit umso mehr"
» "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."
  • "Das Leben ist wie eine Pampelmuse. Es ist aussen orangegelb und riffelig, und naß und glitschig in der Mitte. Drinnen hat's außerdem Kerne. Tja, und einige Leute essen eine Hälfte zum Frühstück"
» "Life... is like a grapefruit. It's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some folks have half a one for breakfast." (so long and thanks for all the fish)'
  • "Oh, don't give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit/No, don't you give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit/For my head will fly, my tongue will lie, my eyes will fry and I may die/Won't you pour me one more of that sinful Old Janx Spirit" - Orion Mining Song
  • Es ist sinnlos sich verrückt zu machen, indem man versucht, sich davor zu bewahren, verrückt zu werden. Da könnte man genausogut einfach klein beigeben und sich die Vernunft für später aufheben.
» "There is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad. You might just as well give in and save sanity for later" (Life, the universe and everything)
  • "Ich glaube das nicht. Beweise es mir und ich glaub's immer noch nicht."
» "I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it."
  • "Wir können gegen Fanatismus nicht gewinnen. Sie machen sich was draus, wir nicht. Sie siegen"
» "We can't win against obsession. They care, we don't. They win."

Marvin

Manisch-Depressiver Roboter. Das Intelligenteste Wesen des Universums. Durch diverse unfreiwillige Zeitreise 3 mal so alt wie das gesamte Universum.

  • "Trillian is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic lifeforms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to have been able to avoid meeting."
  • "Leben, hasse oder ignoriere es, lieben kannst du es nicht"
» "Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
  • "Pardon me for breathing, which I never do any way so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God, I'm so depressed."

Dialoge

  • Marvin: "I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it,"
    Ford: "And what happened?"
    Marvin:"It committed suicide."
  • Marvin verdeutlicht seine überlegene Intelligenz
    Marvin: "Denk dir eine Zahl aus, irgendeine Zahl"
    Matratze: "ähm, vier."
    Marvin: "Falsch! Siehst du?"
    Die Matratze war sehr beeindruckt
» "I'll show you: think of a number, any number." - "ummm four." - "Wrong! See?" The mattress was very impressed.

Zaphod Beeblebrox

Zeitweise Präsident der Galaxis, komplett durchgeknallt.

  • "Ich bin so cool, sie könnten ein Stück Fleisch einen Monat in mir aufbewahren. Ich bin so ruhig, dass ich laut schreien möchte"
» "I'm so cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month! I'm so hip I have trouble seeing over my pelvis!"
Anmerkung: Übersetzung aus der deutschen Ausgabe
  • "Ich verweigere die Frage zu beantworten auf Grund der Tatsache, dass ich die Antwort nicht kenne"
» "I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."
  • "Ihr Kerle seid so lahmarschig, es ist ein Wunder, dass euch der Hintern nicht abfällt."
» "You guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off."
  • "Wenn es hier in der Gegend irgendwas Wichtigeres als mein Ego gibt, verlange ich, dass man es auf der Stelle verhaftet und erschiesst"
» "If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now."

Das Buch / Erzählung

  • "Erde: Harmlos"
» "The Earth - Harmless"
  • "Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small, unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea." - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, opening passage.
  • "Menschen sind nicht stolz auf ihre Vorfahren und laden sie selten zum Essen ein"
» "Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner."
  • "In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri."
  • "Am Anfang wurde das Universum erschaffen. Dies hat eine Menge Leute sehr wütend gemacht und wird weitgehend als Schritt in die falsche Richtung angesehen."
» "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
  • "Es gibt eine Theorie, die besagt, wenn jemals irgendwer genau herausfindet, wozu das Universum da ist und warum es da ist, dann verschwindet es auf der Stelle und wird durch noch etwas Bizarreres und Unbegreiflicheres ersetzt. - Es gibt eine andere Theorie, nach der das schon passiert ist." - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, 1980
» "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable... There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
  • "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."
  • "He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."
  • "Bei jedem Sonnenaufgang, wenn das Licht erstrahlt, gibt es diesen einen Moment, in dem Magie möglich ist. Die Schöpfung hält ihren Atem an."
» "There is a moment in every dawn when light floats, there is the possibility of magic. Creation holds its breath."
  • "The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
  • "...and you will enter the long dark teatime of the soul."
  • "The thing he realized about the windows was this: because they had been converted into openable windows after they had first been designed to be impregnable, they were, in fact, much less secure than if they had been designed as openable windows in the first place."
  • "The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79."
  • "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
  • "He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."
  • "Der Hauptunterschied zwischen etwas, was möglicherweise kaputtgehen könnte und etwas, was unmöglich kaputtgehen kann, besteht darin, dass sich bei allem, was unmöglich kaputtgehen kann, falls es doch kaputtgeht, normalerweise herausstellt, dass es unmöglich zerlegt oder repariert werden kann." - Mostly Harmless
» "The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair."
  • "It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes." (Chapter 24, Life the universe and everything)
  • "Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc...and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons."
  • Curiously enough, the dolphins had long known of the impending destruction of the planet Earth and had made many attempts to alert mankind to the danger; but most of their communications were misinterpreted as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for tidbits, so they eventually gave up and left the Earth by their own means shortly before the Vogons arrived.

Andere

  • "KEINE PANIK." - Worte geschrieben in großen, freundlichen Buchstaben auf dem Umschlag des Anhalter-Prospekts.
» "DON'T PANIC." - Words inscribed in large, friendly letters on front cover of The Hitchhiker's Guide.
  • "Wir fordern garantierte, strikt definierte Zonen des Zweifels und der Unsicherheit." - Vroomfondel.
» "We demand guaranteed rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty." - Vroomfondel.
  • "Zweiundvierzig." - Die Antwort auf die große Frage nach dem Leben, dem Universum und dem ganzen Rest, Deep-Thought.
» "Forty two." - The answer to the Great Question of Life, The Universe and Everything, Deep-Thought.
  • "Teilen und Genießen" - Firmenmotto der Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Beschwerde-Abteilung.
» "Share and Enjoy" - Company motto of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints division.
  • "Macht's gut, und danke für den vielen Fisch" - Letzte Nachricht der Delphine vor ihrer Flucht kurz vor der Zerstörung der Erde.
» "So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish" - Final message from the Dolphins, as they escape just prior to Earth's destruction.
  • "Felsen aneinander zu schlagen." - Sinn des Lebens als Ausstrahlung im Radio.
» "To bang rocks together." - The meaning of life as broadcast on the radio.

Die Letzten Ihrer Art

last chance to see

  • "[Mark Carwardine's] role, essentially, was to be the one who knew what he was talking about. My role, and one for which I was entirely qualified, was to be an extremely ignorant non-zoologist to whom everything that happened would come as a complete surprise."
  • "[The aye-aye] looks a little like a large cat with a bat's ears, a beaver's teeth, a tail like a large ostrich feather, a middle finger like a long dead twig and enormous eyes that seem to peer past you into a totally different world which exists just over your left shoulder."
  • "Here the man in blue crimplene accosted us once more but we patiently explained to him that he could fuck off."
  • "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
  • "Kokosnüsse sind nahezu perfekt konstruiert. Zuerst bohrt man sie an und trinkt die Milch, dann schlägt man die Nuss mit einer Machete auf und schneidet ein Stück Schale ab, das als Werkzeug zum Herausschneiden des Kokosnußfleisches dient.
    Was einen an dem verantwortlichen Götterwesen verwundert, ist, daß es etwas zum menschlichen Gebrauch dermaßen geeignetes erfindet und es dann in sieben Metern Höhe an einem astlosen Baum aufhängt.
    'Ich hab mir was Kniffliges einfallen lassen, mal sehen, wie sie damit klarkommen. Oh, sieh mal einer an! Sie haben herausbekommen, wie man auf Bäume klettert. Hätte ich ihnen nicht zugetraut. Na fein, mal sehen, wie sie das Ding aufkriegen. Hmm, jetzt haben sie also auch noch spitzgekriegt, wie man Stahl härtet. Also gut, Schluß mit der netten Tour. Wenn sie das nächste Mal auf diesen Baum klettern wollen, wird sie unten ein Drache erwarten.'
    Die Geschichte mit dem Apfel muß ihn doch mehr verärgert haben, als ich gedacht hatte." - DNA macht sich Gedanken über Kokosnüsse im Zusammenhang mit Komodowaranen

Der lange dunkle Fünfuhrtee der Seele

The Long Dark Tea-Time Of The Soul

  • "Bloß in der Nacht zu schlafen, hieß die Sache nicht ernst zu nehmen."
» "Merely sleeping overnight was not taking the business seriously"
  • "Flughäfen sind häßlich. Einige sind sehr häßlich. Andere erreichen einen Grad an Häßlichkeit die nur ein Ergebnis besonderer Anstrengung sein kann."
» "Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of a special effort."
  • "Es war ein ramponierter, gelber Citroen 2CV, der einen sorgsamen, aber auch drei selbstmörderisch waghalsige Fahrer hatte"
» "It was a battered yellow Citroen 2CV which had had one careful owner but also three suicidally reckless ones."
  • "Ich bin vielleicht nicht dort, wo ich hinwollte, aber bin denke doch, dass ich da bin, wo ich sein muß"
» "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
  • "Dennis Hutch hat den Chefsessel bekommen als der Firmengründer an einer Überdosis Ziegelmauer gestorben ist, die er unter Einfluß eines Ferraris und einer Flasche Tequila zu sich genommen hatte."
» "Dennis Hutch had stepped up into the top seat when its founder had died of a lethal overdose of brick wall, taken while under the influence of a Ferrari and a bottle of tequila."

Der tiefere Sinn des Labenz

The Meaning of Liff

  • "Niederkleen (V) Einen Experten in einem Spiel, das er beherrscht, besiegen, indem man so grauenhaft schlecht spielt, daß ihm seine ausgeklügelten Strategien und Taktiken nichts nützen.
» "ABOYNE (vb.) To beat an expert at a game of skill by playing so appallingly that none of his clever tactics or strategies are of any use to him."
  • to be found
» "CLIXBY (adj.) Politely rude. Briskly vague. Firmly uninformative."

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Future

'A BBC radio 4 produced radio programme on how new media and technology will change our lives'

  • "Das ist, als versuche man, den Flüssen Amazonas, Mississippi und Nil zu erklären, wie sich das Herannahen des Atlantischen Ozeans auf sie auswirken wird. Zuerst einmal muss man begreifen, dass Flußgesetze nicht länger Gültigkeit haben."
» " It'd be like a bunch of rivers, the Amazon and the Missisippi and the Congo asking how the. Atlantic Ocean might affect them… and the answer is of course is that they won't be rivers anymore just currents in the ocean."
    • Auf die Frage wie das Computer auf Rundfunk, Journalismus und die Musik-/Fimindustrie auswirken.
» On his response to representatives of the music, publishing and broadcasting industries who asked Douglas at a conference how he thought technological changes will affect them.

Anderes

  • "It's rather like a puddle waking up one morning— I know they don't normally do this, but allow me, I'm a science fiction writer— A puddle wakes up one morning and thinks: "This is a very interesting world I find myself in. It fits me very neatly. In fact it fits me so neatly... I mean really precise isn't it?... It must have been made to have me in it." And the sun rises, and it's continuing to narrate this story about how this hole must have been made to have him in it. And as the sun rises, and gradually the puddle is shrinking and shrinking and shrinking— and by the time the puddle ceases to exist, it's still thinking— it's still trapped in this idea that— that the hole was there for it. And if we think that the world is here for us we will continue to destroy it in the way that we have been destroying it, because we think that we can do no harm.
  • "If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat. Life is a level of complexity that almost lies outside our vision; it is so far beyond anything we have any means of understanding that we just think of it as a different class of object, a different class of matter; 'life', something that had a mysterious essence about it, was god given, and that's the only explanation we had. The bombshell comes in 1859 when Darwin publishes 'On the Origin of Species'. It takes a long time before we really get to grips with this and begin to understand it, because not only does it seem incredible and thoroughly demeaning to us, but it's yet another shock to our system to discover that not only are we not the centre of the Universe and we're not made of anything, but we started out as some kind of slime and got to where we are via being a monkey. It just doesn't read well.
    • Source: Richard Dawkins' Eulogy for Douglas Adams
  • "'The world is a thing of utter inordinate complexity and richness and strangeness that is absolutely awesome. I mean the idea that such complexity can arise not only out of such simplicity, but probably absolutely out of nothing, is the most fabulous extraordinary idea. And once you get some kind of inkling of how that might have happened, it's just wonderful. And . . . the opportunity to spend 70 or 80 years of your life in such a universe is time well spent as far as I am concerned.
    • Answering Richard Dawkins' question 'What is it about science that really gets your blood running?'. Source: Richard Dawkins' Eulogy for Douglas Adams

Zugeschrieben:

  • "Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game."
  • "There is no problem so complicated that you cannot find a very simple answer to it if you look at in the right way."
  • "I may be a pretty sad case, but I don't write jokes in base 13!"
    • Douglas Adams, referring to the theory that the disparity between the question and answer of life, the universe and everything is an obscure math joke on his part.
  • "'Stotting' is jumping upward with all four legs simultaneously. My advice: do not die until you've seen a large black poodle stotting in the snow."

Computer

  • "I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: 'Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end.'"
  • "The Macintosh may only have 10% of the market, but it is clearly the top 10%."
  • "First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure."
  • "I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies. Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just part of the way the world works. Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you're after thirty-five is against the natural order of things."

Lernen

  • "You live and learn. At any rate, you live."
  • "Eine Lernerfahrung ist eine dieser Dinge, die dir sagen: ' Du weisst was du gerade getan hast? Tu das nie wieder'"
» "A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.'"

Beruf

  • "Ich wollte immer John Cleese sein und es hat mich einige Zeit gekostet zu merken, dass der Job schon vergeben ist"
  • "In fact, I wanted to be John Cleese and it took some time to realise the job was in fact taken."

Zeit

  • "It takes an awful long time to not write a book."
  • "Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in..."
  • "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

Reisen

  • "Wenn sie noch nie in Santa Fe, New Mexico waren, lassen sie mich sagen: Sie sind ein richtiger Idiot. Ich war bis vor ein paar Jahren selber ein richtiger Idiot"
» "If you've never visited or spent time in Santa Fe, New Mexico, then let me say this: you're a complete idiot. I was myself a complete idiot till about a year ago..."

Weblinks